There is a great saying by Rob Brezny the author of Pronoia; "The universe is conspiring to shower you with blessings". Now, I hate to be the one to tell you this kids, perhaps bursting your pessimistic bubble of angst and worry and general distrust for the powers that unite us all, but Brezny's statement is true. The universe is conspiring to shower you with blessings. I’m sure many of you have experienced periods of time when life flows with ease, serendipitous events occur frequently, and a general feeling of being "connected" is present. In those times it is easy to say "Yes, I am blessed. Yes, I am lucky." But what of the times when there is less ease, less comfort, less apparent serendipity? Does that make us any less blessed? Does that mean we are less cared for by the "powers that be" than other times? Brezny’s statement acknowledges the obvious -- the times when we feel the showers of the universe’s blessings tickling our hearts. He also nudges us to understand that even when the hard rain falls, that too is a shower of blessings.
To put the most yogic spin on this, if the universe is perpetualy preparing to rain blessings upon us, our job then is to look out for the signs of the impending storm (i.e. clouds, thunder, and lightning) so that we can co-participate and take full advantage of the nourishing, life-affirming, and blessing-filled lessons these creative storms offer. We do not have to be innocent bystanders. Rather we need to be storm chasers. We need to actively hunt the blessings inside these storms, allowing us to co-participate in this conspiracy theory.
In the times of ease and simplicity we laugh, rejoice, and give thanks, like when its sunny during a rain shower and we see a rainbow. In the times when we feel more contracted and cloaked, we must investigate the darkness with the light of inquisitivity and faith, essentially going into the eye of the storm by traveling through the intense darkness to experience the deepest quiet and luminous stillness.
Below is one example of how the universe conspired to shower me with blessings. Of course it took me a while to catch on to this plot (wink, wink) but once I did, the experience of the blessings from this particular storm healed one of the deepest wounds of my soul.
For much of my life, I had more than a love of exercise. I was addicted to running, biking, going to the gym, and even my yoga practice. Though the gross behaviors of my anorexia and bulimia had dissipated, I remained fixated on my diet and exercise.
Right before graduating college, I began experiencing severe and depilitating back pain. I couldn’t run, I couldn’t do yoga. I couldn’t lift weights. The only thing I could do was lay flat on my back. The more pain I experienced, the angrier and more frustrated I became with myself and my situation. After almost two months I visited a chiropractor (because yall know how much I love traditional doctors) at the advice of a dear friend and furtunatley found some quik relief that allowed me to return to my daily regime of vigorous physical exercise. Despite the chirporacters encouragment to slow down and rest allowing myslef to break a cycle of exercise clearly harmful to my health, I continued my overly athletic lifestyle.
In 20/20 hindsite it seems so obvious that I had clearly been given the chance to break my exercise addiction and release myself from obsessive behaviors. At the time though, I was so enclosed within the the pigeon-hole existence I had created that I disregarded this potential transformation.
A few months later I was in a severe car accident leaving me with multiple broken bones throughout my upper body. Under the guidance of my chiropracter and some other alternative therapies, I learned that healing is never linear. It is instead more like a spiral. We often return to events that appear similar to those in the past, but as healing progresses and one ascends towards greater wellbeing, the themes may seem recurring but the lessons gleaned on each wrung are new. During this time, I tapped a deep wellspring overflowing with a sense of gratitude for life that began softening the refracted perceptions of myself. Even with this broader perception though, I remained trapped inside the obsession of perfection and once more regressed into old habits.
Two years later worsening back pain reminiscent of that which I had experienced before resurfaced. The medical treatment I sought (yes there are times one should see a medical doctor!) discovered two stress fractures in my spine. One of these was new while the other had allready healed, thus explaining the pain I had previously. Reminded of my chiropracter‘s lesson of the spiral like nature of the healing process, I vowed to approach this injury as an opportunity for transformation. Instead of focusing on my physical limitations, I sought out the lessons involving reccurring injury. I knew that if I did not ultimately change my obsessive exercise habits, I would continue to injur myself. I stopped exercising and gave my body time to rest. I spent time with family and friends. I allowed others to help me. I embraced the opportunity to deepen my meditation practice. I made room for sorrow as I accepted my physical limitations. I cried. I accepted that I may never have a perfect body. Instead of anger, and disregard, I approached my healing with a deep desire to not only heal my bones but to heal my heart.
When you believe the universe is conspiring to shower you with blessings it does not irradicate the possibility of physical and emotional pain and suffering and it doesn’t prevent times of sorrow and saddness. In fact, not only does such a saying leave room for all kinds of experiences (even the uncomfortable ones), it upholds the possibility that within those darkest moments of our lives (that is the conspiracy to which Brezny refers) is where we find the sweetest nectar -- the blessings. To this end I pose several questions lovely ones...
Can you see how the universe is conspiring to shower you (yes YOU) with blessings? Next time its raining and you want to grab that umbrella to shield your preciously delicate heart and psyche, can you instead go out and stand in the rain? Can you let the blessings of the universe rain on you? Are you willing to be a spiritual storm chaser?
